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22 November 2006 @ 12:22 pm
The Only Power ~ Voice Post  




Written to accompany this fantastic pic, "Meikai 2"  by Foo~Dog

Please see the Full Size Picture at Foo~Dog's DA Site
(Double click on her pic to see his face. It's amazing.)
WARNING: Spoiler Chpater 470 in the Manga.

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514K 2:34
(no transcription available)


The Only Power


I freeze.

Her stillness paralyzes me,
breath no longer
    brushing my cheek,
blood no longer
    flowing warm beneath my touch.
Heavy and dark,
an immutable ache leaches into me -
a poison - yearning and boiling my
    need to howl
    out a challenge,
an unanswered call to powers I despise
    for remaining hidden,
    refusing to face my fury.

Death laughs.

This death is a stranger, one that does not
    keep the comfortable distance,
    but presses close,
    weighting the air from my lungs.
Our enduring covenant abandoned,
    I feel the betrayer’s blade slip skillfully
    around armor and bone,
    slicing a path for black echoes
    bellowing into the dark space
    carved into my heart.
Mocking and bitter, death beckons me
    to that place
    where pain is irrelevant,
where I could look down at her body
    and see nothing
    but a casualty of chance.
I am tempted,
    the way familiar.

She cries.

One step forward
    to the promise of relief
and a wall of anguish rises before me –
    crumbling into my soul as I smash at it,
    desperate to move beyond.
I become trapped in a swelling
    maelstrom of self-loathing,
    swirling the remnants of my pride into
    her sorrowful wails,
crying out her torment that I would
    forget her so easily.
Frozen again, the tempest calms and
    our sadness falls
    around me -
    through me -
shredding me until I, too,
    have become lost.

I hurt.

My vain attempts at self-protection
    wound us both –
    like a slap at her soul.
A dishonor.
Stunned, I allow myself to be
    swept into the void.
    I am powerless to protect us -
    helpless to give life again.
I am useless.
My pain is the only power left to me.
Living with me now,
    it breathes on my cheek –
    flows in the beat of my heart.
For her memory –
    I will feel it.
For her honor –
    I will own it.





Also listed on Deviant Art.

HUGE Thanks to all my LJ friends for thier excellent concrit!

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So, how am I feeling?: artistic
Music On?: Nickelback ~ Far Away
 
 
( Post a new comment )
Nylan[info]nylan on November 22nd, 2006 05:50 pm (UTC)
One of these times, I'll read something about Sess/Rin that's actually cheerful.
Too Many Voices In My Head...: Gisei-Rin (sacrifice)[info]alterfano on November 22nd, 2006 06:58 pm (UTC)
yeah. me too!

Nylan: kindred[info]nylan on November 22nd, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC)
She says, with that icon... wtf :P

Your idea of cheerful leaves somewhat to be desired, hon :P
Too Many Voices In My Head...: BWAHAHA[info]alterfano on November 22nd, 2006 07:35 pm (UTC)
don't i know it!

^_~
farawayeyes4: Sess Drops Tenseiga[info]farawayeyes4 on November 22nd, 2006 06:13 pm (UTC)
Beautifully written and read. It's been awhile since I've heard a poem read, and you read it so well. (I wouldn't know where to begin on making a voice post as I don't have a cell-phone) I really love how you captured Sesshomaru's pain and fear---and most of all his helplessness. Shortly after the arc came out, I had a songfic idea I might look into doing that revolves around the same idea. We'll see. I'm not a poet like you, so I can't just make a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing this one. It was lovely.
Too Many Voices In My Head...: Ice Lord (Sess)[info]alterfano on November 22nd, 2006 06:58 pm (UTC)
thank you. i read one other poem on my lj and enjoyed it. i've considered reading them all into voice posts 'for posterity' but i seem to be too lazy so far (and some definitley don't deserve it!).

this one started out as a character exploration for me - since i still struggle with his character so much. it kinda turned into its own thingy...

thanks for letting me know you liked it.

(love that icon, BTW - what does the kanji say?)
farawayeyes4[info]farawayeyes4 on November 22nd, 2006 08:30 pm (UTC)
I've never been very good at poetry, and when I did my senior portfolio reading in college I did a single fiction piece, Bleeding Through. I'm not sure how it came off sounding when I read it, but hey. IF I actually had the patience and knew how to do that, I would read my shorter pieces into voice posts, if they didn't take up too much space/time/whatever they allow for that.

I've never really had a problem with Sesshomaru's character. He can be very complex, yes, but I think he feels more than he lets on. I find he's very cold on the outside, but boiling on the inside with tons of emotions. I don't think they're like human's emotions, but they're still there. I also think a lot of people don't give him enough credit for a sense of humor. It's subtle, just like just about everything else about him. He's not a very outward person and what he does show says very much. I'm glad this exploration helped.

As for the kanji? Beats me. I just liked the picture.
forthrightly[info]forthrightly on November 22nd, 2006 06:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, look what you did. You made me cry.
Now I'll be sniffling into my pies.

"For her memory--I will feel it. For her honor--I will own it."

I love that guy.
::dabs tears::
Too Many Voices In My Head...: SAD (Sess)[info]alterfano on November 22nd, 2006 06:56 pm (UTC)
wow! i made you feel something! i'd squee, but somehow that seems inappropriate. I'm glad you liked it in the end. And thank you so much for your help and insights along the way! made a difference and i appreciate that you took the time and gave me your impressions.

let the smell of the pies cheer you up!
forthrightly: Resident Baka[info]forthrightly on November 22nd, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
Apple pie in the oven and no worse for wear due to pulled heartstrings. ::whew::

I like playing with words...and with you. I always have an opinion...and it'll always be forthright ::facepalm::

Too Many Voices In My Head...[info]alterfano on November 22nd, 2006 07:33 pm (UTC)
=D
nelson_bannaba[info]nelson_bannaba on November 23rd, 2006 05:54 am (UTC)
Poetry read aloud is always a treat. Happy Thanksgiving!
Too Many Voices In My Head...: IY Distubringly Happy[info]alterfano on November 23rd, 2006 01:30 pm (UTC)
u2! Big plans?
nelson_bannaba[info]nelson_bannaba on November 24th, 2006 05:30 am (UTC)
Went to moms. Maybe I'll post something fun. :)
Thingy what now?[info]litele_one on November 23rd, 2006 09:33 am (UTC)
Wow . . .

This was quite possiblyone of the most soulful and heartfelt pieces of fandom I have ever had the privelage to experience.

. . . I don't think I can give any better praise than that.
Too Many Voices In My Head...: Happy Day[info]alterfano on November 23rd, 2006 01:32 pm (UTC)
wow! i don't think i've ever heard a nicer piece of praise. thank you! and happy holiday (if you celebrate Thanksgiving!)
weij[info]twosen on January 3rd, 2007 04:10 pm (UTC)
Eheh, a bit late, but hey, works of art never age, right?

Somehow my favourite image is that of her breath on his cheek. It's the one that sticks most clearly in mind. I love the way you describe her 'death' as a stranger - so apt. Especially since his name means "killing life circle" (well, I'm taking the literal chinese translation of the kanji...)

Well done! *applauds*
Too Many Voices In My Head...: Ice Lord (Sess)[info]alterfano on January 3rd, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
thanks! i had no idea that's what his name meant. if i read it once i forgot. yes that is interesting. i was really intrigued with the idea that death would appear to him as 'not a friend' for the first time in this situation.

thanks for letting me know you liked it!
weij[info]twosen on January 10th, 2007 12:48 pm (UTC)
Entirely welcome. It's never a chore to read your IY stuff! ^__^

Yeah, and IIRC, on ear-tweak.com it says that one of the literal translations of "Naraku" was "theatre basement"...?!? XDDD
Too Many Voices In My Head...: Beautiful Death (Naraku)[info]alterfano on January 10th, 2007 01:37 pm (UTC)
well, they say the TV can kill you...
weij[info]twosen on January 13th, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
Heh... that translation of Naraku always has me thinking of him lounging around in some basement, rearranging and re-assimilating his bodyparts while watching TV...
Too Many Voices In My Head...[info]alterfano on January 13th, 2007 04:22 am (UTC)
ha! good one!
weij[info]twosen on January 16th, 2007 02:56 pm (UTC)
=P