Its a very good story with an engrossing plot that is executed well. That being said... I like happy endings dangit! I know you didn't set out to make it tragic per se but I'm a wuss. It's my problem, I'll deal with it. Very, very good. I'm going to go hug a stuffed animal now.

By the by, I have a Loz/Yazoo PWP posted to my LJ if you're interested. Its my first lemon!

yes, well, as perhaps you saw in my end notes, i really didn't want to write this story either, it just wanted to be written:(

i saw your lemon and will try to read when i get back from the beach next week. do i have to know the characters? (Many lemons - you really DON'T need ot know the characters!)

Yeah, its almost creepy when a story just goes off on its own merry way and drags its poor author along for the ride... I really do think it was well done though and I was happy to comment!

funny, of all the reviews i've gotten so far, yours is the comment that I think I would have had if i'd read it (great, but i love happy endings. shivers)

:P

OH! and (duh) thanks for reading and letting me know what you thought!

I wonder how many years she spent working on splitting calabashes before she could be sure of Sessh. Why didn't she use the same sword? Trying to conceal her own suicide?

i had to go look up what a calabash is....hahaha...personally, i think she must have worked on coconuts

you mean why didn't she use her sword to kill herself? why his claws? pure and symple symbolism... by casting her aside (repeatedly), he tore her heart out. so that was the way she wanted to go - with his poison in her heart.

just dramatic plot devices. i thought visually it would be more appropriate.....

you think it didn't work *is insecure about this one*

It worked. It was just non-traditional and a bit unclear. Turning the sword upon herself would been a clear statement of her feelings left behind as a message but it also would have been a way for his blood to enter her. Maybe she didn't want that.

Don't be insecure about it. It's well-written and you thought first.

thanks! i'm only sortof insecure. but i'm way done on this one and ready for a little "Romp" to liven things up. i've bene delving into darkfic too much these last weeks.....

thanks for the review, btw. you're one of the only ones that's (told me) that they picked up my attempt to be true to the asian concept of love, loyalty and tragedy....my husband was surprised i dind't make it more of a romeo and juliet thing, but that's just not quite asian enough. i wanted the whole "good/love and evil/hate live happily side by side" undercurrent going....which i consider to be very asian.

did you ever see the movie "Hero"? I thought that was brilliant vis a vis this dynamic...

What a story!! Just read it and left a review!! As I mentioned in my review - Another shining example of your Mastery of the written word!! Thanks for sharing it with us!!

thanks! just out of curiousity, what was it about Sessh's characterization that you felt was OOC? the fact that he likes sake? (hee)

errr.. yes.. I don't see him as a sake drinker more of a 'Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against a Wall' or 'Russian' or any type of fancy froo-froo drink... giggles.... Heh... maybe he's a secret beer drinker instead...

I just read it. I honestly thought there would be a happy ending (really, I should have known better) but the tragic murder-suicide is richer and more plausible.

I wonder, if he'd taken her away with him at 19, if they might have had a happy ending.

you know, i wondered that too? at first, I hadn't put that little bit about her watching him leave and noticing that she'd changed in the story. later i felt that Rin's POV was TOO underrepresented so i added it. later on rereading it, it occurred to me that that was the point where she'd switched her motivations.

i think i'm putting on my list a "to do" to write a "sesshy sees the light and runs away with rin" story just to shake this one from my system (even though I personally feel this one is more potentially realistic, given his manga character. I guess i made him a little OOC by loving sake so much :)

thanks for the reviews! i'm glad you liked it!

Sesshoumaru sees the light and runs away with Rin. Yes! Sign me up.

have you written that one yet?

You mean Sesshoumaru gets zap by a bolt of lightening or the proverbial lightbulb gets plugged in. ... Pictures Sesshoumaru sticking a claw into a lightsocket.. getting zapped (cartoon sytle ) and hair gets frizzed into a Hollywood cliche from the past (Disco era) of an overexaggerated Afro puffy style. chokes....

I agree with all the rest, an excellently written story, wished for a happy ending, etc.

What I want to know is how Rin managed to decapitate Sess? Sure he was asleep but wouldn't he have woken up when Rin moved? Was the tea drugged?

As Noko pointed out, cutting off a man's head requires practice (thus the botched executions where the headsman has to take several goes before getting the head off). I imagine a youkai's head is even more firmly attached. I just don't see Rin being successful.

yes, yes...i think personally the tea was drugged...although i left it open because i wanted the reader to wonder at this and wonder if it was that, or if maybe he was just so sated and in such a deep sleep that he didnt' notice when she got up to pee.

did you catch the bit about how she'd been trained to use the sword? that was meant to suggest she'd been practicing with calabashes or whatever.

but frankly, i wanted the end to feel like Romeo and Juliet or Tristan and Isolde (though i was going for a more asian twist) and take on the feel of legend, where we don't worry the details so much as take in the essence of the symbolism....obviously, the great writers who rely so heavily on their reader's ability to susped credibility in return for dramatic impact, don't have O7 and Noko in their band of enthusiastic critics friends.

thanks for taking the time to read this/comment - from on vacation!
:)

What are vacations for if not LJ and fanfic?

I should really finish up betaing Noko's chapter but I'm trying to catch up on everyone.

I don't know why, but the stuff I've read so far that involves Sesshoumaru just resonates more with me than some of the other things.

Mild whine: read it on FF.net and it didn't have any clear distinction between the normal flow of paragraphs and a break indicating a slight fade out/fade in as we shifted perspective or time. Was a bit disconcerting on a few of the early transitions. Not really anything you did, just wanted to mention, heh :P


I started writing out questions, but not really sure it's the right place to ask. Might poke you on AIM later or sumfin maybe. Mostly just curious about some of the history and whatnot, and why things turned out as they did.

well, i'm assuming you followed it well enough to at least come up with questions!

yea. i hate FF.net. it always scres up my formatting - no matter what i do. poke away whenever/however.

Didn't have a lot of trouble following it, was just that I'm unfamiliar with the world.

One of the main ones I had was... you mentioned there's a difference in the flow of time between the youkai court and the human land. Why is that?

The other main thing I was wondering about is Sesshoumaru's father. Who he was and a bit about his story. Any links that might provide some of that info?


Fiddling with other ways the story might have curved, I suppose. But I'm not really sure what Sesshoumaru wants, so it's difficult.

Over all a good job. Rin and Sess really isn't a paring I like.